Break Free of Perfectionism’s Grasp: Start Before You’re “Ready”

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Perfectionism is a survival response to a society that has us all looking at each other like competition so it’s no wonder almost all of us are plagued by it. In this approach, perfection equals acceptance → acceptance equals belonging → belonging equals safety and survival. But here’s the deal, we are humans, not robots. They call it human error for a reason, we are not built to be “perfect” and neither is the world around us. But giving yourself permission to show up imperfectly or share something before it’s perfectly polished can be terrifying for so many of us. Leaning into and witnessing our humanity, especially in our stumbles, is the secret sauce – finding opportunities and spaces where the imperfection is celebrated, fostered and supported. In this episode, we talk about what perfectionism is, how it shows up, real-life examples of it, and how to work through it. We talk about starting before you’re ready, valuing curiosity over certainty, and embracing progress over perfection.

TOPICS

[2:45] episode start
[4:40] starting before you’re ready
[10:30] what this looks like
[14:30] being a student of life
[16:00] real-life example of tackling perfectionism
[26:50] example #2
[29:10] routine flow
[32:00] Threads, the new social app
[36:40] example #3
[39:55] example #4
[44:00] not attached to the outcome
[47:35] mirror work
[50:00] confrontation
[51:40] glass cliff
[53:00] progress over perfection
[54:00] internal vs external viewpoints
[54:55] building your stories repertoire

RELEVANT LINKS

Book: Boundary Boss by Terri Cole

“...we are less likely to speak up if our fear of rejection (also known as fear of death) is greater than our desire to be known. And understandably so: breathing trumps being understood.” p63
“Our primal instincts for survival are hardwired into our DNA. Often, this primal fear clouds our judgment and prevents us from seeing life as it really is. Or even how it could be. We’re too busy (unconsciously) hoping we don’t get rejected/annihilated.” p62

App: Threads

Follow Nikki on Threads

Movie: The Social Network (2010)
Checkbox Other episodes:

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This episode discusses not being attached to the outcome.

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Netflix:

Music: Catherine on Spotify

QUOTES

“Give yourself permission to say, I'll start before I'm ready. And what ready looks like for me isn't perfection's ready. It's my ready.”
“A huge part of this is watching yourself give yourself permission and surviving at the other side. Not even just surviving, but thriving at the other side.”
“But if you have opportunities in your life where you give yourself permission to be like, what does it look like if I just show up as I am without having to do anything else as criteria to get to the starting line?”

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